Real beer goggles
I have discovered a phenomenal new way to save money when going to overpriced Cambridge bars such as Daedalus, Red Line, and Grafton Steet: remove your glasses.
I arrive at the bars wearing my prescription spectacles to safely judge the quality of the women present and appear knowledgeable. After consuming my first beverage, I remove my glasses to achieve an enhanced feeling of intoxication for a quarter of the price. The higher your prescription, the more it works its magic. You will convincingly bump into people and things, spill your drink, and lower your standards because you can’t see your partner.
Given the hard state of our economy, this method is an effective way to reduce college costs without reducing fun.
